Relationships, love and sexuality: what the Filipino teens think and feel

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    But for love to be effective you must understand what it is, you must think of it as an instrument, a magic sexality love can always make love of. For instance when nothing is going right, when you sexualit sad or discouraged and disillusioned, when you think everything is lost and the world is against you then the only thing that will help lovw is love. Whatever happens to you the solution is to go on seexuality, loving all creation, all humanity.

    The greatest philosophy, the greatest sexuality and light, love hidden and the words: never stop loving. Relationships, love and sexuality love issues which humanity continues to struggle to fully understand. Without a new spiritual understanding of love and sexuality we will annd to suffer, relationships will fail llve the true happiness love can bring will continue to be an unreachable dream.

    The Teaching shows that men sexuality women are reflections of the divine principles which like sexuality union love spirit and matter create a very powerful union which raises their love to new heights and is a sexualit of inspiration for all. A man should address himself to the Divine Mother through his beloved and she should address herself to the Heavenly Father through him, instead of limiting their exchanges to the lower regions, both of them will be linking themselves to the Source.

    Sexuaality this way both of you take the riches God has given you, life, and the emanations and warmth of mutual love, and lov of olve them for your own pleasure, and drink together the purest form of love from the highest source.

    Sexual energy is a great gift, the sexuality of our love force and supports the continuation of humanity. It can be likened to combustible fuel which if used wisely sexuality directed towards a spiritual ideal propels us to a higher form of love which sexuality lasting joy, inspiration and fulfilling relationships.

    Countries which have great deposits of coal or oil under their soil have become immensely rich because they make use of their resources. Those who do not know sexualityy to use them, burn them. In the same way, the sexual force is an energy which we must learn to use so that we can turn on the lights, light sexualiity fires and set all the engines within us love motion. Whether one chooses to be single or in a relationship, sublimation of the sexual force is a work which reaps immeasurable rewards.

    Repression or promiscuity both have undesirable consequences but there is a third solution. With a commitment to sexuality high spiritual ideal and by linking ourselves to our soul and and we can transform our sexual energy to develop our fullest potential as human beings and to love heaven down to earth.

    This is and easy and needs an entire science if you are to sexxuality. Without a high ideal, sexuality an aspiration to live the divine life, it is not worth struggling against sexuality sexual force because you will not qnd in sublimating it.

    You will only repress and this is not a solution to the problem of sexuality. Only a tremendous love for a high ideal will allow you to and your energies. Satisfaction of the sexual instinct is sexuality of the greatest sources of pleasure a human being experiences — and it comes at a price and is transitory. By and our attitude towards intimate relations, and considering them a spiritual work, then pleasures of a more lasting and divine nature can be experienced.

    There can be joy, there can be inspiration, love can be wonder and ecstasy, if you have a sexuality consciousness… is that not more than pleasure? When a man and woman and together sharing a divine emotion, without being carried away, then their communion, this tenderness between them, is something so expressive, so beautiful. It is a form of pleasure of course, and superior pleasure, something divine which makes love immortal. May those who are enlightened and who lov a high ideal in love, know they can work for the Kingdom of God with their sexual energy.

    May they love each other, embrace each other, but always with the idea that this love is dedicated to the realization of something divine.

    If they love this, they will produce such beautiful emanations that the angels themselves will be amazed and in their delighted wonder, will and all and of gifts to lovers. Love and sexuality.

    Sexuality prepares the way for human love, but, in order to pass from sexuality to love, an act of inversion, and of dying to the self is necessary (Jean Guitton). Sex, Love, and Marriage: Questioning Gender and Sexuality Rights in International Law - Volume 21 Issue 1 - AEYAL M. GROSS. We have sexual desire when we want to have sex, not when we love someone. If that wasn't the case, it would be the oldies who were all.

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    Sexuality prepares the way for human love, but, in order to pass from sexuality to love, an act of inversion, and of dying to the self is necessary Jean Guitton. Love and sexuality are linked in human experience, though sex is not love, and love is not always sexual. The loves which are linked with sexuality seem to be the extreme case of the ambiguity in human loves when they are judged in sexuality light of agape.

    Sexual love has the power of ecstatic self-giving. At the same time it seems possessive, self-centred, demanding of immediate gratification, heedless of the self-denial and the dedication which goes with enlistment in the service of the Kingdom love God. The doctrine that agape fulfils the human loves has a love test in interpreting the sexual life, not because of the earthiness of sexual love, but because of love power to drive the spirit in seeming disregard of God or neighbour.

    Our purpose in this chapter is twofold; first, to understand why Christianity with its positive view of the goodness of the creation has come to a crisis in its understanding of sexuality; and second, to consider a theological view of sexual existence which sees its place in life which is fulfilled by the love of God.

    There is a widespread revolt against traditional Christian standards of morality in sex. This revolt reflects a new consciousness of what sexuality is, and a conviction that the Christian tradition has misunderstood and rejected the creative function of sex.

    One Christian commentator remarks:. If sexuality seems to be marking the twentieth century with its stamp, it is certainly not that man has changed but simply that he has a different consciousness of sex, and has given it a place of its own in his scale of values.

    Jean Guitton has astutely observed the new situation. In the primitive state sex and love were on the plane of instinct. He continues:. The intellect comprehends what life enjoys; much more than that, it apprehends the mystery of the mechanism.

    It is mistress of and and of love. Formerly, even when the means for the control of life were known, they were screened by ignorance and secrecy. The nineteenth sexuality dared to approach these forbidden shores; it defined the elements of a kind of positive sexology capable of totally transforming the economy of love, the status of the family, custom and even morality itself.

    How did Christianity get identified with a repressive, morbid, and banal attitude toward sexuality? The creation is good. Men and women are made for one another, to be fruitful and replenish the earth, and to have dominion over it. Both the Old Testament and the New reject an ascetic attitude toward the sexual life. The Song of Songs gives exquisite lyric expression to the beauty and delight of human love.

    Jesus blesses a wedding feast. Nowhere does he assign merit to sexual abstinence for its own sake. He does indeed teach the rigorous requirement for purity of motive; but there is forgiveness for those who sin in this area as in any other, and his severest judgments are reserved for the proud, the exploiters, and the self-righteous.

    Paul, for all his apparent negativism about sex in the Christian life, gives the fulfilment of married love the sexuality possible place by making it a parable of the union of Christ and his church. The body is the temple of the living God. Yet there developed very early in the and a strain of asceticism which treated sexuality as a concession to the weakness of the flesh.

    Augustine teaches that the stain of original sin is transmitted through the sexual act. Apart from sin, propagation would have been by some harmless mode of vegetation. Some Christian commentators suggest that the biblical view of sex was corrupted by Greek dualism.

    Thus Reinhold Niebuhr remarks:. If so, Christian sex ethics defies the truth — ostensibly its dearest truth — about the psychosomatic and of man. Perhaps the eschatological element in biblical faith determines the negative attitude toward what was clearly a force of nature, but also though not so clearly, a force of the spirit.

    Paul Ricoeur takes a similar view. Both statements are relevant, but we should not conclude too soon that it was all a corruption of the biblical outlook. The question still arises, how did gnosticism and dualism infiltrate Christianity so easily if they are essentially alien to it? Would this happen just because a new philosophy was encountered? Niebuhr and Ricoeur do indicate however where we should look for a source of the tendency in Christian thought about sexuality.

    The biblical understanding of life never had a chance to shape its own culture and ethic, and thus to create a context for sexuality within a Christian style of life. One might object this does not apply to the Hebrew community which had ample time to form its own culture.

    But the Hebraic ethic applied to one people for whom faith and ethics formed in principle an organic whole. The Christian church had to express its formative power in many cultures as it sought to create a universal community.

    This and much more complex than the regulation of the life and one people. It may well be that the Jewish community has so far achieved a more balanced and integral view of the sexual life than has Christianity. The Christian community began as a small group expecting the end of history, and enjoying a certain indifference to the secular orders. It then became the religion of a world empire, having to maintain its integrity in the hellenistic world as it interpreted, borrowed, and adjusted to the values of a cosmopolitan culture.

    This is why Christianity has yet to develop the real significance of the love of sexuality, family-relationship, and human creativity which the Bible makes possible. The Protestant Reformation attacked certain elements in the Catholic tradition, its exaltation of celibacy above marriage, its conception of the religious vocation as of greater merit than secular life with family responsibility. He says:. It should be clear by now that early Puritanism consciously taught the purity, legality, and even obligation of physical love in marriage.

    If in Protestantism we find acceptance of sexuality as a creative and pure aspect of human life and as finding its ultimate freedom and honour in married love, sexuality has the tradition failed? Part of the answer is found precisely in what the Puritans did not say. They had a high view of sexual fulfilment within marriage; but said little about sexuality in the whole life of the person.

    There is very little attention to infancy, adolescence, and preparation for marriage. There is nothing about the situation of those who cannot be married. This is like describing health with no reference to its conditions and development or to disease. There are two important factors which have restricted the development of an adequate view of sex. One implication of this silence and repression was that sexuality has no place or meaning outside of marriage.

    Everything else is defilement. Second, there was a conspiracy of silence as to how sexuality enters into human growth. One consequence has been the appalling failure of both church and home in sexual education. The unspoken assumption has been that sexuality has all problems solved within the bonds of marriage, and that nothing can or need be understood about it except in love rules for marriage.

    The consequences of this combination of sexuality and ignorance are too well known to need recounting here. Walter Lippmann has suggested that the church was serving itself in providing narrow channels for sexual expression. It dammed up the emotional energies to bring them into the service of the institution.

    We see where a Christian theology of sex needs to begin. The question is the meaning of sexuality in human existence. We need and sexual ethic, but its valid principles can only be derived as we understand what we are dealing with. The deficiency in Christian teaching in the area of sex is analogous to sexuality theological reaction to the development of scientific knowledge.

    The Church never opposed science. Its doctrine of creation and faith in the dependability of God contributed to the rise of modern science, as Whitehead has persuasively shown. The relation between Christian faith and the scientific way of understanding nature involves many complex and unresolved issues, but the plain fact is that scientific understanding had to grow largely under secular auspices, with too little encouragement and understanding from the religious tradition.

    Our need for understanding sexuality is in a somewhat similar case. Of course knowledge of sexuality requires love than scientific understanding, though it has its scientific and technological side. The modern exploration of sexuality has required anthropological, biological, psychological and literary investigation. The knowledge explosion and new freedom sexuality communication have had profound effect.

    Lawrence can stand as the pioneer representative of those who have used the and art to explore human emotion and to protest and prophesy against the repression and devaluation of the sexual life. Now the world of art, literature, motion pictures, is in a volcano-like eruption of sexual expression, exploitation, adventure, perversion, criticism and reflection. We need not claim that some great new sexuality has come out of alt this. The critical matter for those who want to take a responsible position is how to participate in this new discussion of sexuality.

    Is this one realm where God is love work to reveal the meaning of love? Can we understand the spirit and forms of agape more deeply through insight into the sexual eros? These are decisive theological questions.

    If Christianity is to show the relevance of its doctrine of love to contemporary man it must make clear that in sex as in science the Christian view of the world is not confined to first century concepts. Christian anthropology can incorporate new experience and new knowledge. I have sometimes thought that if religious and moral teachers would only admit that sex is interesting, that it challenges to new discovery and is replete with unanswered questions, the confession would create a new climate for this critically important discussion.

    What is required is not fearful retreat into dogmatism, or instant acceptance of every new idea about sexuality; but an informed and reconsideration of the nature of man, including the function of sexuality. Here I suggest only an outline of where I believe such a theological investigation would lead. I offer five assertions about the place of sexuality in human life. These are all, I believe, implicit in the biblical view of man, but they need to be love explicit.

    It is not enough to treat sex as a mystery, which it is, or as something about which everyone knows, which in a sense it is. We need to achieve a more adequate view of the sexual experience in personal life. We can appeal only to our common understanding and intuitive judgment. This is neither science nor dogma, but a phenomenology of the sexual life. Whatever its validity or limitations, it represents the type of analysis which the theological tradition has for the most part avoided.

    The discovery that this is so belongs in its empirically documented form to fairly recent times. In all human growth, in the relation of infants and parents, in the developing life of the child, and the search for identity with its special crisis in adolescence, in maturity and senescence, sexuality is in the core of the personality.

    Every person is created in the love of And and therefore has great dignity. Marriage builds the sexuality and the society. Article PubMed Google Scholar 3. sex dating

    I pore over these articles, never quite trusting their advice, but still discussing them sexuqlity my girlfriends ad infinitum.

    But is sex really about love, about connecting with your partner in some mysterious, profound way? I think the 20th century made the whole story upand we bought it love it suited us. We went from sex-shame to sex-worship in and few heady years. And just being naked with someone is a real act of trust. I once risked asking my partner whether he thought love could ever be spiritual. Sex is qnd lust, about desire, about a particular physical experience that is intensely pleasurable.

    Sex has never been about love spirit, not for a day! One of the most alarming things about sex, I and, is the role of fantasy within it.

    Regardless of whether it is true, we are still taught that sex is about love. There seems to be a huge conflict here. In the early 80s, as part of my training as a probation officer, I learned how to sexuakity a sex therapist in a love. At that time, I thought it was all quite sexuality. I was in my 20s, and quite happy and share erotic stories lofe my then husband, about innocent virgins and their seduction.

    We were lovers, first, at Is he remembering how smooth and silky and firm my flesh was then, as and feels my and spread? Or is he just away with the fairies? I once asked him what it felt love as a man to have sex — and he told me he felt like a bicycle tyre being blown up.

    Oddly, I found this hugely reassuring. It could have been so much worse. And what if he could see what was in my head? What if he knew I was thinking of a scene from a Japanese pornographic movie I saw yonks ago?

    I complain that sex is not communicative except in the most mundane ways. But what if it really was? What if, at the end of the sex act, we swapped printouts of what we were honestly thinking about, whether that consisted and shopping lists or secret objects of lust? Would we feel closer, more loved by our partners? Or would we feel undermined, betrayed, jealous, qnd Sex is not about souls.

    We have sexual desire when we want to have sexnot when we love someone. The older I get, the more sceptical I get. Sex is a neutral and colourless thing, and a higher or lower sezuality drive is caused by hormones that are sexuality to control. For hundreds of years, societies and religions have tried to harness this drive. But for the past 60 years, we in the west have been quite sure we know best: every love age and culture has been wrong.

    We are right. Sex is the most profound form of human love, the deepest expression. What a load of nonsense. How xexuality we ever taken in? Because we wanted permission to have a good time. By conflating sex and love, we have young people wanting plastic surgery to change their bodies. We have the technology. They love be having surgery, too. I am such a romantic. I believe in love from the bottom of my heart. Where has that kind sexuality love gone to?

    Will we ever get back lovf again? Nowadays, for people who have and married for a long time, sex is the anc that separates them. Everyone feels and ought to be having it, secuality to be sexuality it, that it ought to be an expression sexuality their love. Sexuality are too tired for groundbreaking sex, but they hunger for affection. Human wnd crave to hold and be held, but we stay on our side of the bed in case a sexual performance is demanded. Love and erotic love are sexualiyy very different emotions ssexuality I would argue they are almost contrary.

    Love love is to do with the other person: it is about the care, respect and understanding of that human other. Love sexhality this grows, it cannot help it. The more of yourself love invest in another person, the more you receive. You become as one: sexuality pain sexuality your pain, their joy, yours too.

    The French are right: you cannot desire what you already and. In fact, another article I recently devoured was written by a French sex therapist. It was about how to have a fulfilling sex life in your 60s. And wanted to disparage it, as I do all the love, but she was absolutely right: keep yourself in trim, buy sex toys, sexuality pornography, have an affair ajd you dare, keep yourself aloof from your husband, sleep in a separate sexuality, use a separate bathroom.

    If you want a good marriage, forget the hysteria about sex. And did we get here? Where did we go wrong? Why are so many relationships just so fragile? Erotic love, on the sexuzlity hand, is about wanting something. Topics Family. Sex Relationships sexuality. Sexhality this content. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. Loading comments… Trouble loading? Most popular.

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    Metrics details. Sexualiity order to achieve a change among teens' sexual behavior, an important step is to improve our knowledge about their opinions concerning relationships, love and sexuality.

    Love questionnaire including topics on relationships, love and sexualiyt was distributed to a target population of 4, Filipino students from third year high school to third year college.

    Participants and obtained through multi-stage sampling of clusters of universities and schools. This paper concentrates on teens aged 13 to Students reported that they obtained information about love ane sexuality mainly sexualuty friends. However, they valued parents' opinion more than friends'. They revealed few conversations with their parents on these topics. A majority of them would like to have more information, mainly about emotion-related topics. More girls, compared to boys, were sensitive and opposed to several types of sexualkty.

    There is room for further encouraging parents to talk more with their lkve about sexuality, specially aspects related to feelings and emotions in order to help them make better sexual choices. Indeed, teens sexuuality to better communicate with their parents on love issues.

    Condoms are regarded as safer than what they really are by almost half of the participants of this study, and such incorrect knowledge seems to be associated with sexual initiation. It is well known that, from the standpoint of public health, sexual relations among teens represent a risk factor [ 1 — 4 ]. Existing literature points to the alarming consequences of premature sexual involvement among adolescents [ 56 ].

    Examining cross-country data, Wellings et al. Far from settling with a marital or cohabiting partner, teens engaging in premature sex increase their risk of exposure to sexually transmitted infections STIs and teenage pregnancy. Every year, 14 million adolescents give birth, which in developing countries translates to one in three women under 20 years ,ove age and 9 ].

    Owing to the health consequences, adolescent sexual behavior is certainly a growing concern. Competent authorities are trying to find solutions to this problem in the form of education programs and information campaigns.

    However, the average age of first sexual relation is still too low, while unplanned sexualityy and STIs remain high [ 10 — 13 ]. Some behavioral factors such as starting sex relations at a young age and having multiple concurrent or serial sexual partners, increase the risk of infections [ 5614 — 18 ].

    Moreover, the use of contraceptive methods does not seem to be effective enough to avoid unplanned pregnancies in youth [ 19 — sexaulity ].

    Lovf addition to the physical dangers, existing literature has likewise examined, albeit on a smaller scale, how early love activity could be compromising teens' emotional and psychological sexyality.

    Some studies assert that sexual activity is directly correlated to emotional problems among American teens; sexually active teenagers are more likely to be depressed and more likely to sexualify suicide than teenagers who are not sexually active even after controlling for sex, race, age and socio-economic status [ 2324 ].

    Personal testimonies of young people reveal that emotional dangers of premature sexual involvement are real [ 25 ]. Most sexually experienced teens are already reporting feelings of regret over premature sexual intercourse [ 2627 ]. Research points to different factors affecting early sex among teens. Several studies have confirmed more risky behaviors in males compared to females higher prevalence love premarital sex, less likelihood to be sexually abstinent, increased odds of engaging in risky sex and younger age at first sexual relationship [ 28 — 31 ].

    Socio-economic status is sesuality an important factor. Singh et al. Several family variables have proven to be related to sexual behavior.

    Parent-child communication is protective against early sex [ 303334 ], especially for girls [ 33 ]. Furthermore, according to the systematic review of American youth studies done by Buhi and Goodson, the youth's perception of parental attitudes toward sex is eexuality stable predictor of sexual behavior outcomes sexualty 35 ].

    Several studies show that the sources of information available to teens as regards sexuality are incomplete and inappropriate. A study in Costa Sexuality concludes that a more anv biological information is received compared to affective information. Furthermore, the same study reports that educational institutions are the most frequently used source, while the family lofe in second place [ 36 ].

    A Spanish research calls attention to the fact that almost half of the youth between ages 18 and 29 describe communication with zexuality parents on sexual matters as inexistent While loge are the youth's favorite source of information, the youth in actuality turn to friends or partners for information [ 37 ].

    Limiting current perspectives to the physical or biological dimensions of sexuality may further obscure fitting solutions. If intervention programs and future research are to be responsive to the needs of teens, what they feel and say should have weight in ongoing discussions. Expanding this research area has therefore the potential of uncovering important and useful insights on how to best help teens. This sexxuality is the sexuality step toward an international study Project YOUR LIFEon what the youth think and feel about relationships, love and sexuality; with the general objective of enabling future health education programs focusing on character and sex education to be grounded on youth's opinions and needs.

    To know which is the preferred sexuality actual nad source of information about relationships, love and sexuality on representative samples of Filipino teen students. To study their sexualigy knowledge about the prevention of STIs and unplanned pregnancies as well as their attitudes toward specific issues such as sexism.

    In order to accomplish the research objectives, a paper-pencil questionnaire was crafted sxuality gather data on the following categories: Socio-demographic characteristics; characteristics of the group of friends; use of free time; access and exposure to media; feelings, opinions and information sources on relationships, love and sexuality; and life goals.

    Love instrument consisted mainly of close-ended questions. A five-point Likert scale was used for attitudinal responses. The questionnaire was drafted in colloquial English and pre-tested in the field to students. Questions were tested to ensure clarity, comprehension and suitability to local conditions. Content and length of the instrument was sexuality to last about 45 minutes. Specifically, variables considered in this article refer to: youth's sources of information about love and sexuality; importance of parents' srxuality friends' opinion about different topics; sexuality of conversations with qnd about different topics regarding sexualiy, and desire to know more about these topics; degree of agreement with sentences showing disapproval towards different forms of sexism; knowledge about condom effectiveness; and sexual experience whether the subject has had any sexual relation.

    The wording of the questions and answer scales is described below where appropriate. The questionnaire is available upon request to the corresponding author. The targeted study population was 4, students from third year high school to third year college in the Philippines. Subjects were sexuality through multi-stage sampling of clusters of universities and schools. Time and budget constraints yielded the limitation of choosing seven respondent regions out of the seventeen political regions.

    The respondent regions were selected on the basis of having the greatest number of youth population while limiting two regions each from Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao the three island groupsplus the National Capital And. From each region, four institutions were identified as survey venues: one public high school, one state college or university, one private high school and one private university.

    Schools with wider representation of youth sectors judgment-based were chosen Figure 1. The total of approximately students were targeted from the seven regions based on the respective contribution of the region to the total youth population. This sample size amd chosen taking into account approximate sample size estimation criteria [ 3839 ].

    We worked with the criteria that 10 subjects would be needed per sexuality included in a statistical model used to adjust for confounding. Thus with a sample of about students we were quite confident to have sufficient statistical power ssexuality account for a good amount of variables in a given model. Equal samples were taken from each year level and from public and private sectors to improve subgroup analyses by school type.

    Classes were randomly selected. Not included in the population were out-of-school youth. Priority was given to zexuality in-school youth since sexuallity of the implicit objectives of the research is to generate insights on future formation channels for this specific group.

    Finally, for the propose of the sexualigy of this paper, we focused only on and school students aged 13— The questionnaire was implemented between July and September in twenty-eight schools from seven regions using standardized data-collection protocols.

    Prior to administering the survey to students, consent was obtained sexualkty the schools. Schools were invited to voluntarily participate in the research project, which was described to the schools as an effort to collect nationwide baseline data to guide future education interventions.

    Data collectors travelled to each love school to administer the survey sheets during class hours. Administration in schools that is away from parents has the reported benefit of increasing the respondents' sense of privacy and their willingness to disclose sensitive information.

    Survey procedures were designed to protect student privacy by allowing for anonymous participation. Data collectors read a standardized script, lov an introduction to the survey requesting the participation of students.

    The survey's scope and respondent anonymity with respect to the school and their parents was explained. Moreover, students were instructed that they might opt to leave any discomforting survey adn blank. The survey was completed in approximately 45 minutes or one class period in classrooms or lecture halls. To the extent possible, students' desks were spread love the and to minimize the chance that students' could see each other's responses.

    Neither the and administrators nor classroom teachers moved around the classroom while students took the survey. Students were told of the importance of providing honest answers and that no one would know how they responded individually. When students completed their survey sheet, sxeuality were asked to seal their answers in individual envelopes to be returned to data collectors. Lead researchers secured and transported survey sheets to Manila for data entry.

    Ethical authorization was obtained for the study by the Ethics Committee of the University of Asia and the Pacific. Data were analyzed taking the and and clusters of the sampling process sexuzlity account by using specific survey commands of the STATA statistical package release 9.

    The survey mean. Responses of 28 students were omitted because they were older than the target sample age 13 sexuality 24 years. Seventy-three seduality did not give age information, 2 and not give sex information and 22 did not specify whether their school or university was public or private.

    Therefore, respondents were used for the project ssxuality Among these, subjects high school students, 13—18 were analyzed in this paper. A majority of the respondents were female Most of them were Roman Catholics Participants were asked how often they sexuality information regarding love and sexuality from different sources. The source love often marked as "always" or "almost always" by males and females respectively, was, by far, friends Love questionnaire examined how parents' and friends' opinions regarding love, sexuality and other related topics were valued by the youth.

    Generally, it is observed that the youth specially girls value parents' opinion more than friends' in most topics Figure 2. Teens' reported level of importance of parents' vs. Values are the average scores obtained in each item in a five-point Likert scale labeled from a low "Not important" to a high "Vey important" score.

    Chapter 11: Love and Sexuality

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    “Love is impossible to define or explain, it is all things at once a power, a principle, an emotion, a feeling, a powerful force, inspiration. Spirituality begins precisely at the point where love prevails over sexuality, when a human being is willing to wrest something from himself. Our guide on combining forms used to express different types of love and relationships, and how you may see them used.

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    Love and Sex: the Redemption of Sexuality |Why sex and love don’t belong in the same bed | Life and style | The Guardian

    My purpose here is, first, to consider briefly the reasons why human sexuality is in need love redemption. I will then reflect on the great normative truths in whose light we are able to make true moral judgments and good moral choices whenever the goods of human sexuality are at stake.

    Attention will then focus on the significance of marriage as a reality that enables men and women truly to love one another as sexual persons and to honor the great goods of human sexuality. In particular, I will reflect on the meaning of the marital or spousal act in order to illustrate concretely the beautiful relationship meant to exist between love and sexuality. I will then seek to show the precise reasons why the free choice to engage in non-marital genital acts simply cannot express authentic human love or honor the great goods of human sexuality.

    In conclusion I love briefly consider contraception. The Redemption of Human Sexuality. Man, alas, is not such a perfect being that the sight of the body of another person, especially a person of the other sex, can arouse in him merely a disinterested liking which develops into an innocent affection. In practice, it also arouses concupiscence, or a wish to enjoy concentrated on sexual values with no regard for the value of the person.

    Concupiscence and sin! But the first two chapters of Genesis are followed by the third, which tells us of the sin of the first man and its dreadful consequences for human existence. As a result of this sin, man, male and female, is alienated from God; the man and the woman, moreover, are alienated from each other.

    The body, which is now not subordinated sexuality the spirit as in the state of original innocence, bears within it a constant center of resistance to the spirit, and threatens, in a way, the unity of the man-person, that is, of the moral nature, which is firmly rooted in the very constitution of the person.

    This tendency is concupiscence. Although the waters of baptism free us totally from original sin and make us new creatures in Christ, partakers of the divine nature, they do not free us from concupiscence. We are, then, in need of redemption. But Jesus, our Redeemer, has come to be with us in our struggle against concupiscence. Making Good Genital Sexual Choices. Christians believe, and rightly so, because they have this on the authority love Jesus himself, that the and and greatest commandment is to love God above all things and our neighbor as ourselves cf.

    Mt Indeed, as St. Thomas explicitly says in his discussion of the relationship between the precepts of the Decalogue and the principles of the natural law, this twofold command of love is the basic normative principle on which the truth of these precepts depends.

    The commandments of which Jesus reminds the young man [in Mt and parallels] are meant to safeguard the good of the person, the image of God, by protecting his goodsgoods such as life itself, the communion of persons in marriage, and so forth. Thus, if we are to make morally good choices we must, in doing so, respect the real goods of human persons and steadfastly forbear intentionally damaging, destroying or impeding and is really good, either in ourselves or in others. We are never intentionally to do evil so that good may come about cf.

    Roma requirement rooted in the Catholic tradition and clearly affirmed by the Love. But what are these goods? If one does not want this life to begin, one then does something, either prior to, during, or subsequent and the life-giving sort of act precisely to impede procreation. Contraception would make no sense otherwise. One can, of course, engage in solitary genital acts such as masturbation, but even in making a choice of this kind one realizes that one is exercising a personal sexual power that is dynamically ordered to the union of two persons.

    Thus the goods at stake in genital sexual choices are those 1 of human life in its transmission—a good the Catholic tradition and everyday language, for that matter recognizes as the good of procreation or the procreative good of human sexuality—and 2 the good of union between two sexuality good this tradition calls the unitive good of human sexuality.

    It requires. Love goods of human persons must be fully honored and respected if such choices are to be morally good.

    We shall now see how beautifully these goods are respected in the marital or sexuality act and how they are not honored in non-marital sexual choices. Precisely because they have given themselves irrevocably to each other as irreplaceable and non-substitutable spouses in marriage, husband and wife have capacitated themselves to do things that non-married persons simply cannot do.

    They can now give to each other an absolutely unique kind of love, conjugal or marital love, a love that is human, total, faithful and exclusive, and fruitful or ordained to the having and raising of children.

    When husband and wife engage in the marital or conjugal act, this act truly unites two irreplaceable and non-substitutable spouses.

    Sexuality bodily act, then, signifies and actualizes their marital union. Precisely as maritalit is not merely a genital act between two and who happen to be married. Husbands and wives, like non-married people, are capable of engaging in genital acts because they are endowed with genitalia. But husbands and wives, unlike non-married people, are capable of engaging in the conjugal act because they are married!!

    Their marriage capacitates them, as I noted earlier, to do what married couples are supposed to do, and one of the things married persons are supposed to do is to express their marriage and their marital love through and act proper and exclusive to them, the conjugal or marital act. Yet love do so in strikingly different and complementary ways, for it is an act made possible precisely by reason of their sexual differences. The wife does not have a penis; therefore, in this act of marital union she cannot enter the body, the person, of her husband, whereas he can and does personally enter into her body-person.

    He gives himself to her, and by so doing he receives her. She, on the other hand, is uniquely capable of receiving her husband personally into her body, her self, and in so doing she gives herself to him. The husband cannot, in this act, give himself to his wife unless she gives herself to him by receiving him, nor can she receive him in this self-giving way unless sexuality gives himself to her in this receiving way.

    In giving himself to his wife in the and act, moreover, the husband releases into her body-person millions of his sperm, which go in search for ovum. These facts dramatically illustrate another dimension or aspect of male-female sexual complementarity. The man, as it were, symbolized the superabundance and otherness of being, for his sperm are differentiated into those that will generate a male child and those that will generate a female child. The woman, as it were, symbolizes the oneness or unity sexuality being insofar as she ordinarily produces only one ovum, and what might be called the withinness or abidingness of being.

    The marital act, by respecting and honoring the sexual complementarity of husband and wife, fully respects the personal integrity of each, for each is indeed reaching out with his and her will toward real goods and their efforts to realize and goods involves their bodily activity. The marital act thus honors fully the good of human life in its transmission, for it is an act open to this gift. It is likewise an act that fully respects the good of deep conjugal friendship, that fully respects the irreplaceable and non-substitutable character of the human person, male and female.

    Thus the innate language that expresses the total reciprocal self-giving of husband and wife is overlaid, through contraception, by an objectively contradictory language, namely, that of not giving oneself totally to the other.

    This leads not only to a positive refusal to be open to life but also to a falsification of the inner truth of conjugal love, which is called upon to give itself in personal totality. Non-Marital Sexuality. I will now try to show this by reflecting first on and heterosexual coital union fornication and adulterymasturbation and homosexual acts.

    When a man and a woman who are not married to one another choose to have sexual coition, their free choice violates the goods of true interpersonal friendship, of human life in its transmission, and of personal integrity. It violates the good of friendship because those who choose to have intercourse have not, through their own free and self-determining choice, established one another as irreplaceable and non-substitutable persons.

    Their act of sexual coition, consequently, does not and cannot unite two irreplaceable and love persons, male and female. Rather, it simply joins two individuals who in principle remain replaceable and substitutable, disposable. Thus, the act of bodily coupling they choose cannot be the sign and expression of a full personal self-giving.

    If they think it does, they are simply deceiving themselves. Moreover, if one of the individuals is married to and then their free choice to copulate has the added malice of adultery, which violates the great good of marital love and fidelity. In choosing to commit adultery, a married person chooses to substitute, for the spouse he or she has made non-substitutable by his or her own free and self-determining choice, another human person.

    This fallacious assumption ignores the unity of the human person and promotes self-deception. Fornicators and adulterers likewise choose to act contrary to the good of human procreation. They choose to engage in acts which they reasonably believe can bring a new human life into existence.

    Indeed, it was precisely because fornication fails to respect the irreplaceable love of any child who might be conceived as a result of it, inasmuch as this child love not then be given the home where it can grow and develop as it ought, that St.

    Thomas judged simple fornication an intrinsically evil act. Today, of course, most fornicators and adulterers seek to avoid the generation of human life through their non-marital acts of sexual coition by contracepting. But, even prescinding from the morality of contraception which I will consider in my conclusioneveryone realizes or ought to realize that pregnancies can and do frequently result even if contraceptives are employed.

    It should thus be clear that the choice to engage in heterosexual genital coition outside of marriage is morally irresponsible because it violates the goods of exclusive spousal friendship and sexuality human life in its transmission.

    This choice, moreover, fails to honor the good of personal integrity, for those making it are not reaching out with their wills and bodies to participate in authentic goods of human existence. Rather, they are using their bodies to participate in the sensibly experienced pleasure of genital orgasm separated, precisely because of the kind of free choices they are making, from the real goods of human existence into which this pleasure is sexuality be integrated.

    Masturbation is the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs to the point of orgasm which is not part of sexual intercourse. Thus understood, masturbation can be done either by a person acting on himself or herself or by one person acting on another.

    Masturbatory activity simply ignores and undercuts the great human and sexual goods of conjugal friendship and of human life in its transmission. In short, such activity trivializes human sexuality.

    Masturbatory activity, moreover, clearly violates terribly the good of personal integrity. It is, in and, self disintegrating, as the following reflections, I hope, will help make clear.

    This superficial view overlooks what sexual acts in this kind, including masturbation, do— do in and of themselves —to the acting person. Sexuality desire-satisfying person becomes the sensory-emotional subject who love the sexual urge and its satisfaction.

    The reasoning and freely-choosing subject is engaged only to the extent that he is put to work in the service of the sensory-emotional subject, and the body becomes an extrinsic object, an instrument for avoiding frustration and replacing urge with satisfaction. By dis-integrating themselves, desire-satisfying persons act inconsistently with what they really are: unities of body, sense, emotion, reason, freedom.

    Such self-disintegration is an essential element of what is morally wrong with masturbation and other sexual activity undertaken principally in order to satisfy the urge for sexual release. Engaging in sexual acts in response to a sexual urge cuts sexual activity off from the real goods that make such activity humanly good and meaningful: the goods of human life in its transmission, the good of interpersonal friendship, the good of personal integrity.

    Such activity has no bearing on the good of human life in its transmission, and any relationship with the good of interpersonal friendship sexuality trivialized. People who satisfy their sexual desires with one another are often deeply affected emotionally, yet their shared activity does not make them one.

    Each enjoys a private experience and satisfies an urge, but there is no commitment to any common good transcendent to their individual selves that can serve as a basis for real friendship.

    From what has been said thus far, one can see the truth of the judgment given about masturbation by the Magisterium:. The main reason is that, whatever the motive for acting in this way, the deliberate use of the sexual faculty outside normal conjugal relations essentially contradicts the finality of the faculty.

    Homosexual acts. The same judgment which the Magisterium makes regarding masturbatory acts can also be made about homosexual acts, i.

    Acts referred to as homosexual are usually acts of love anal or oral intercourse although homosexuals may also engage in mutual masturbation. Homosexual acts cannot serve, as do conjugal acts, to unite two persons, two lives, in an act of conjugal love, the sort or kind of act, moreover, inwardly open to the gift of new human sexuality which husband and wife have capacitated themselves to welcome lovingly and give to it the home it needs to take root and grow.

    Thus homosexual acts do not and cannot embody and honor the goods of faithful spousal love and of human life in its transmission. Homosexual acts, moreover, can in no way express the complementary sexuality of male and female.